I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize