He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
