wake up i wanna do it froggy style
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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