Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He has the fingertips of a God
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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