She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
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