he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
