He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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