I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
