I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
