You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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