if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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