You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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