Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
