There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
