my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
