How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
