I cockslap morals
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize