WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
