I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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