maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
