At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
