I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
