It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
