Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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