A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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