I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Randomize
