My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
