I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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