Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
