yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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