im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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