Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize