Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
