I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
