the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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