Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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