you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
