This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
