I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just pee around me
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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