im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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