my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize