I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
