You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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