i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
