Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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