I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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