capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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