Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Come see our sink grown plant.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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