i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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