It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
ttyl tear gas
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
