sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
