"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
