writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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