He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize