Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
