We're facebook friends in real life
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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