i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
