Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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