you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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