just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
