we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
